17. Dead, in the Heart
Jesse called and asked if Ransom wanted to hang out one last time before school started. And just in time too. Ransom was starting to get worried.
Since their night at the construction site, their relationship had been much less intimate. Their conversations were always short and to the point. Jesse had rebuffed every request to see her in person, or even privately in telepresence for more than a few minutes. Her excuse was always that she was busy.
Ransom rang her doorbell the next morning. Her father let him in. Ransom saw luggage and packed bags heaped near the front door. Her bags.
He found her in her room, writing something with a scroll pad and stylus.
He asked, "Hey, what's up?"
"I'm almost finished packing. I'm leaving tomorrow night. Can you help me?" She didn't look up from her scroll pad.
Ransom just stood staring at her, for the better part of a minute. "You flying to Mass tomorrow?"
She finally looked at him. "Yes. Ransom. My parents... they were sorta just bluffing about making me go to school here. But this is exactly what I wanted."
Ransom nodded, expressionless.
"Can you carry that box of clothes downstairs?" She pointed at a large heavy box. "Big strong stud?"
He took it down without reply.
The rest of the day, Ransom's head was in a cloud. He went through motions like a robot. He felt as if what he was experiencing was unreal. And also, he found himself singing to himself old Christian pop rock songs from the teens for some reason.
They went to a restaurant, Ransom said he wasn't hungry. They went to a bar, Ransom didn't drink. Many times, Jesse would have to repeat what she was saying because Ransom just wasn't listening.
Ransom wanted to say what he felt, but he was afraid. He remembered the words of a philosopher who once said that once you speak something, the words are already dead in your heart. Ransom felt that by remaining silent, and lying by omission, even to himself, he could keep hope alive and avoid the inevitable.
While they were driving back to her house, he finally spoke. "Jesse, um... about what happened the last time we were together..."
A light went from green to yellow, red, then green again before she answered. "Ransom, you were just so depressed. I just thought... I just wanted you to feel better." Was that actually a tear she managed to work up?
"Oh... I see."
It was pretty much silence from then on. A half an hour later she tried to start a conversation about a robot being built that was supposedly an expert in theology.
As he prepared to return home, he was as warm and courteous as ever. He said his goodbyes to Jesse. He bent over and gave her a hug. He told her that he would miss her. She reminded him that he would still see her in telepresence.
His car's server was in good working order. But he played no music. He drove the whole three hours home in silence.
The next day at work, Ransom felt a sort of liberation. He had always suspected that his job was bullshit. Today he was more sure of that than ever before. He knew that the security servers were so powerful that the hospital's safety and security department practically ran itself. What was he but just a decoration in a quasi-police uniform? A symbol used to soothe the anxiety of people who have yet to accept the fact that the machines were taking over. He wondered how many other people working at this hospital were just as worthless as he was. Whenever he had a health problem, which was rare, he spoke to Hippocrates, or Doctor Google, or Doctor Kellogg, or some other robot. When was the last time he actually talked to a real doctor? When he was, like, twelve? What small minority of people are needed to actually keep this planet running?
He walked into the lobby of the hospital were he worked and looked around as if it were the first time he'd ever seen the place. The quotidian of day to day monotony melted away to leave the pain in his heart in high relief.
But there was one thing new. A memorial. They must have put it up over the weekend. It was a telescreen in a gilded frame. An acoustic parabola hung from the ceiling over the screen. One had to directly in front of the screen to hear the audio. Underneath was a plaque.
COMPANY FOUNDER
CLAUDE VIRUNGA
b. 1984 Kigali Prefecture, Rwanda
d. 2030 San Antonio, South Texas
"What started out as a reformation of the Seventh-Day Adventist Church turned into a movement that swept the globe. China, India, Sub-Saharan Africa, Latin America, Eastern Europe. The revival fires spread through every continent in a spiritual outpouring that has been called by some, The Third Great Awakening.
"At the cornerstone of the Transadventist movement, The Transadventist Declaration, published in 2013 by Virunga. Seven rules to live by in order that Christians may be ready for the Second Coming."
The seven points of The Transadventist Declaration appeared on the screen.
1. See to it that you preserve Liberty, that which makes us most like God in character, for all people, regardless of race, creed, or nationality. See to the freedom to worship, or not to worship, in the faith of choice, on the day of choice, Saturday, Sunday, or any other day. Keep church and state divided. And avoid the Mark of the Beast, avoid denying the rights of anyone to conduct business.
2. Repent of the sin of Sodom. Show compassion for the poor. Feed the hungry. Clothe the naked. Shelter the homeless. Pursue technology that will reduce want.
3. Recognize your body for what it is, a temple of The Holy Spirit. Take responsibility for your health. Eat wisely and avoid high-fat, high-calorie diets. Avoid abuse of drugs and alcohol. Cleanse yourself through fasting. Exercise. Always improve yourself.
4. Carry on the healing ministry of Christ and care for the health of your brothers and sisters. Have compassion on the sick, the injured, the disabled, and the mentally ill. Embrace technology which improves man's condition, yet show's respect to God's creation.
5. Remember that all are fallen. Have compassion on the incarcerated and forgiveness for those who may have made you the victim of their criminal act.
6. Keep yourself holy and follow God's Law. Avoid hate, sexual immorality, dishonesty, and theft. Love your brothers and sisters as you would yourself. Recognize that the same Holy Spirit living in you also lives in them, and that each individual has infinite worth.
7. Above all, love God. Let each work out his own salvation in fear and trembling. Follow the narrow road and accept The Lord, Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Believe in Him, and you will have life forever.
Transadventist Declaration
Claude Virunga
January 2013
Orlando
Of course, Ransom knew about The Transadventist Declaration already. Lovely thoughts, all of them. Really.
The memorial was set up next to this big painting. It was called Johnny Made Whole. It was a picture of a this kid in modern dress, with his back to the POV, getting up out of his wheelchair to give hippy, big daddy Jesus a hug. Afterwards he will presumably join the other happy frolicking kids in the background. Ransom has to walk past this stupid-ass painting every day.
He felt guilty that it wasn't Ken, or any of the other poor unfortunate people he was mourning. It was just his ego. And yet it hurt all the same. Ransom swore that he would shed no tears over this. But he might as well be honest with himself. Admit what he already knew deep inside, just so he could move on.
He loved her, and she didn't love him back
Since their night at the construction site, their relationship had been much less intimate. Their conversations were always short and to the point. Jesse had rebuffed every request to see her in person, or even privately in telepresence for more than a few minutes. Her excuse was always that she was busy.
Ransom rang her doorbell the next morning. Her father let him in. Ransom saw luggage and packed bags heaped near the front door. Her bags.
He found her in her room, writing something with a scroll pad and stylus.
He asked, "Hey, what's up?"
"I'm almost finished packing. I'm leaving tomorrow night. Can you help me?" She didn't look up from her scroll pad.
Ransom just stood staring at her, for the better part of a minute. "You flying to Mass tomorrow?"
She finally looked at him. "Yes. Ransom. My parents... they were sorta just bluffing about making me go to school here. But this is exactly what I wanted."
Ransom nodded, expressionless.
"Can you carry that box of clothes downstairs?" She pointed at a large heavy box. "Big strong stud?"
He took it down without reply.
The rest of the day, Ransom's head was in a cloud. He went through motions like a robot. He felt as if what he was experiencing was unreal. And also, he found himself singing to himself old Christian pop rock songs from the teens for some reason.
They went to a restaurant, Ransom said he wasn't hungry. They went to a bar, Ransom didn't drink. Many times, Jesse would have to repeat what she was saying because Ransom just wasn't listening.
Ransom wanted to say what he felt, but he was afraid. He remembered the words of a philosopher who once said that once you speak something, the words are already dead in your heart. Ransom felt that by remaining silent, and lying by omission, even to himself, he could keep hope alive and avoid the inevitable.
While they were driving back to her house, he finally spoke. "Jesse, um... about what happened the last time we were together..."
A light went from green to yellow, red, then green again before she answered. "Ransom, you were just so depressed. I just thought... I just wanted you to feel better." Was that actually a tear she managed to work up?
"Oh... I see."
It was pretty much silence from then on. A half an hour later she tried to start a conversation about a robot being built that was supposedly an expert in theology.
As he prepared to return home, he was as warm and courteous as ever. He said his goodbyes to Jesse. He bent over and gave her a hug. He told her that he would miss her. She reminded him that he would still see her in telepresence.
His car's server was in good working order. But he played no music. He drove the whole three hours home in silence.
The next day at work, Ransom felt a sort of liberation. He had always suspected that his job was bullshit. Today he was more sure of that than ever before. He knew that the security servers were so powerful that the hospital's safety and security department practically ran itself. What was he but just a decoration in a quasi-police uniform? A symbol used to soothe the anxiety of people who have yet to accept the fact that the machines were taking over. He wondered how many other people working at this hospital were just as worthless as he was. Whenever he had a health problem, which was rare, he spoke to Hippocrates, or Doctor Google, or Doctor Kellogg, or some other robot. When was the last time he actually talked to a real doctor? When he was, like, twelve? What small minority of people are needed to actually keep this planet running?
He walked into the lobby of the hospital were he worked and looked around as if it were the first time he'd ever seen the place. The quotidian of day to day monotony melted away to leave the pain in his heart in high relief.
But there was one thing new. A memorial. They must have put it up over the weekend. It was a telescreen in a gilded frame. An acoustic parabola hung from the ceiling over the screen. One had to directly in front of the screen to hear the audio. Underneath was a plaque.
COMPANY FOUNDER
CLAUDE VIRUNGA
b. 1984 Kigali Prefecture, Rwanda
d. 2030 San Antonio, South Texas
"What started out as a reformation of the Seventh-Day Adventist Church turned into a movement that swept the globe. China, India, Sub-Saharan Africa, Latin America, Eastern Europe. The revival fires spread through every continent in a spiritual outpouring that has been called by some, The Third Great Awakening.
"At the cornerstone of the Transadventist movement, The Transadventist Declaration, published in 2013 by Virunga. Seven rules to live by in order that Christians may be ready for the Second Coming."
The seven points of The Transadventist Declaration appeared on the screen.
1. See to it that you preserve Liberty, that which makes us most like God in character, for all people, regardless of race, creed, or nationality. See to the freedom to worship, or not to worship, in the faith of choice, on the day of choice, Saturday, Sunday, or any other day. Keep church and state divided. And avoid the Mark of the Beast, avoid denying the rights of anyone to conduct business.
2. Repent of the sin of Sodom. Show compassion for the poor. Feed the hungry. Clothe the naked. Shelter the homeless. Pursue technology that will reduce want.
3. Recognize your body for what it is, a temple of The Holy Spirit. Take responsibility for your health. Eat wisely and avoid high-fat, high-calorie diets. Avoid abuse of drugs and alcohol. Cleanse yourself through fasting. Exercise. Always improve yourself.
4. Carry on the healing ministry of Christ and care for the health of your brothers and sisters. Have compassion on the sick, the injured, the disabled, and the mentally ill. Embrace technology which improves man's condition, yet show's respect to God's creation.
5. Remember that all are fallen. Have compassion on the incarcerated and forgiveness for those who may have made you the victim of their criminal act.
6. Keep yourself holy and follow God's Law. Avoid hate, sexual immorality, dishonesty, and theft. Love your brothers and sisters as you would yourself. Recognize that the same Holy Spirit living in you also lives in them, and that each individual has infinite worth.
7. Above all, love God. Let each work out his own salvation in fear and trembling. Follow the narrow road and accept The Lord, Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Believe in Him, and you will have life forever.
Transadventist Declaration
Claude Virunga
January 2013
Orlando
Of course, Ransom knew about The Transadventist Declaration already. Lovely thoughts, all of them. Really.
The memorial was set up next to this big painting. It was called Johnny Made Whole. It was a picture of a this kid in modern dress, with his back to the POV, getting up out of his wheelchair to give hippy, big daddy Jesus a hug. Afterwards he will presumably join the other happy frolicking kids in the background. Ransom has to walk past this stupid-ass painting every day.
He felt guilty that it wasn't Ken, or any of the other poor unfortunate people he was mourning. It was just his ego. And yet it hurt all the same. Ransom swore that he would shed no tears over this. But he might as well be honest with himself. Admit what he already knew deep inside, just so he could move on.
He loved her, and she didn't love him back
posted by Graham at 4:41 AM
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