14. The Holiest of Holies
The next night, late, Ransom pulled up to the front of Jesse's parent's house. She was already waiting at the curb.
"Oh my god! What's that smell?" she asked.
He bent over and greeted her with a hug. "It's burning motor oil. It's not so bad compared to some cars."
"Where's your car?"
"I had, um, a little accident. It's in the shop now. this is my father's 2010 Honda Civic, one of the last mass produced gasoline models."
"So is the desire to own a piece of shit vehicle a genetic trait?"
"Well why don't you drive if you hate it so much?" asked Ransom.
"I told you already. The house server will wake up my father if I take my car out this late. My father would kill me if he caught me out here right now. No. actually, he would kill you."
"Jesse, how old are you, 24 or 16?"
"You know how overprotective my parents are. I can't say that I blame them, really. It's just easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission, if you know what I mean. Now let's go."
Ransom bent at the knees and back. He put his right arm in the crook of Jesse's knees and put his left arm underneath her shoulder. When he straightened up, he was struck by the sudden disparity of the situation. The intelligent, opinionated young moderator of the superhumanist forum was now a child in his arms. He felt a wave of affection that surprised and embarrassed him.
Jesse was just impatient. "Hello? You just gonna stand there?"
"Uh... sorry. I, uh..."
"What?"
"I... I think it's nice holding you like this."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
She sighed and then leaned in closer, touching her forehead against his shoulder. "Ransom, dear."
"Yes?"
"I know that you're a big strong stud. Now put me in the car before my father picks you off with his rifle."
"Heh." answered Ransom. "He can't do that while I'm holding you."
"Ah! You suck! Now put me in the car, and don't hit my head on the door."
"Ransom. You gonna tell me what's going on?"
"We're going to an all-night burrito stand, right?"
"You know what I mean. Why did you come here?"
"I went to see Ken last night."
"Jesus, what happened?"
"Nothing. Nothing happened. He's dead, gone. His body just doesn't know it yet."
"I'm sorry, Ransom. You prolly shouldn't have gone to see him. You should have just remembered him the way he was."
"Yeah. I don't know what I was thinking."
"So what was he like?" asked Jesse. "Before, I mean."
"Um... we knew each other all through grade school. We even went to the same church for a while. But we weren't really friends until I dated his sister. She dumped me, and I guess he felt sorry for me. After that, we did everything together.
"We were like partners in crime. We would sneak into football games, and sneak into Movie World without paying admission. That was before I started working there, of course. He was always the brave, reckless one. And I was always the cautious, conservative one. I did my best to discourage bad behavior, especially after we turned 18, and were punishable as adults.
"I don't think you would have liked him
"No, you would have liked him, if you got to know him. You just would have thought he was a loser. He was a thief. He could never keep a job longer than a month. He was addicted to drugs. And his room was always a mess.
"He was a great guy. He was so fucking clever.
"I mean, none of the teachers thought he was smart or motivated. But I knew otherwise judging from the enormous amount of swag he'd stolen over the years. I bet if he'd been born a hundred years ago, he could've been a professional thief and made millions. Now that security and loss prevention technology is so advanced, it's hard for anybody to steal anything. Ken used to steal bottles of liquor from this little shop on General Telepresence property. Now, I used to work for the loss prevention department at GT. Believe me. What he did takes brains and guts."
Jesse stopped him by squeezing his knee. "So I guess you had to keep an eye on him whenever he came over."
"No, Jesse. I gave him access codes to my house and my car. He never stole from friends or family. Only from corporations."
"Wow." said Jesse.
"I know it sounds like I'm making him out to be a total bum. But he wasn't like that. He had dreams. He wanted to make famous movies. Did I show you the movie we..."
"The Forrest Gump parody. Yeah, I watched it. It was funny."
"So how's your week going?" asked Ransom.
"Don't change the subject! If you want to talk about this, then talk. Talking will help you."
"I guess you figured out that I didn't come all this way to go get some mediocre burritos."
"Let's go someplace private and talk." she said.
"Like where, your room?"
"No no no. My house server recognizes you, but knows you're not allowed to call so late."
"You haven't figured out how to hack that yet?"
"Unlike your family, my parents know a lot about computers. they'll know if I tampered with the house server."
"Well where, then?"
"When I was in high school, my boyfriend and I went to the graveyard at night to get high."
"You may have been able to get away with that ten years ago." said Ransom. "But now that semi-intelligent security servers are ubiquitous, that would be impossible. You can't go anywhere without a robotic eye noticing you. I assure you that there are cameras or sensors embedded on every tree, mausoleum, and fifth headstone. We wouldn't be there ten minutes before a guard shows up to hassle us. Five minutes, if the memorial is run by Transadventists."
"So there's no place to go, really."
"I don't know." said Ransom.
"It's funny, we talked about this in my political science class. it's like a Disneyland version of Orwell. Big Brother is watching you. But as long as you behave, and keep you arms and legs inside the ride, no one is going to bother you."
"Well, I've never been to the Disneyland Historical Museum in SoCal, but I don't think it's as bad as Orwell envisioned things. There is no, Big Brother. Just a lot of privately run little brothers who keep an eye on their domain. Your house is your castle. However, ultra-sensitive detection devices are so powerful these days, even your bedroom might have an audience. Did you know that a positron emission scanner can look through your house like it's made of glass?"
"Ransom, have you been watching me shower?"
"I wish! My father used to work at this company that installed audio systems. They had these cool devices that would create a sonic barrier around your house. so no one could spy on you with an ultra-sensitive microphone."
"Obviously, everything can't be known, or else there would be no crime or terrorism."
"Good point. Wait a minute. I've been thinking, what would Ken do? I have an idea."
"What?"
"Driving along. I saw something." said Ransom.
Ransom walked through a doorway that did not yet have a door. That "new building scent" hung in the air. A mixture of dust, paint, and silicon adhesive that had not finished curing. Jesse was carrying a box of take-out Mexican. Ransom was carrying Jesse. He set her down on a chair and then ran back out to get her wheelchair.
"What do you think, Jesse, Not bad?"
"Much better than a graveyard. Kinda dark, tho."
"There's gotta be... here we go." He found a stack of cardboard tubes in the corner. Brand new telescreens. He pulled one out of it's tube, unrolled it, and flattened it against the wall. He addressed his wristserver, "Server, link to telescreen." The dark gray screen turned a soft glowing white. The word, "standby" appeared in black letters. "Mountain house window file." said Ransom. The screen turned into a picture of lush green mountaintops. The same that can be seen outside his mountain house in cyberspace.
"What is it with you and mountains?" she asked.
"I've lived in CenFlo all my life, which is flat as a pancake. I've only been to the mountains once in my life. They were so nice. I think that Heaven must have a lot of mountains. Hold on... Server, fireplace file." The mountains burst into flames. The artificial window was now an artificial fireplace."
"I like it!" said Jesse. "Very romantic. Now tell me why you chose this place."
As I was driving, I saw that this place was built by Wilbur Pagan Construction, a contractor that works almost exclusively for General Telepresence. I've worked for GT construction projects as a laborer, and a security officer. I know that when they build a building this size, they set up a temporary server on site to handle things like security, until they can install a permanent server when the building is finished."
"Did you do something to the temporary server?" she asked.
"The server will wait three minutes before it sends a signal that it has detected a trespasser. So that gives me three minutes to find the server and disrupt its power source. After that, I had twenty seconds while the server reboots to disconnect the input cables and turn on the trouble alarm. Now the server doesn't know we're here."
"Oh my God, you're a stud!"
"Thank you, thank you." He said.
"So are you sure we won't get caught?"
"I'm about eighty percent sure. The security people prolly get trouble alarms going off every night. So often so that they prolly wouldn't bother checking on them. Hopefully, the security people in charge here aren't that much more vigilant than I am. But if a patrol car pulls into the lot, I'll just make a quick getaway and leave you here."
"Gee, thanks." Jesse broke into the box of burritos which had begun to leak grease onto the newly tiled floor.
"Jesse, that burrito stand wasn't run by Transadventists, was it?"
"Don't worry, Ransom. This is real live dead flesh we're eating." She reached into the box and tossed him one of burritos.
"Thanks." Ransom bowed his head and closed his eyes.
"Uh, Ransom. What are you doing?"
He opened his eyes wide, as if awaking from a bad dream. "Holy shit. I was praying, wasn't I?"
"That's what it looked like to me."
"It was pure habit. I didn't even realize I was doing it."
"That's understandable, Ransom."
He was silent. And every second he spent silent, the lower his mood became. For the past six months, sadness had been his constant companion. It came and went as it pleased. Triggered by a word or thought, it was never far away. "I feel like two friends have died. Ken is dead, and God is dead."
"I can't say that I can relate to the death of God. I suppose that it would be painful if you've believed in him all your life. But I think that you're getting better. I think that some people need God, that they use it as a crutch. But you're learning that you don't need God. You're walking on your own without help from an invisible friend."
"Maybe you're right." Said Ransom. "But the thing is, I didn't choose this. If I had my choice, I'd still be a blissfully happy born-again Christian. But with all the terrible things that have happened, it's like God is sending me a message. And that message is, I don't exist."
She tapped her lip. "That's quite a paradox."
"Jesse, we don't have to talk about this."
"I know."
"None of these terrible things happened to me personally. I don't have the right to complain. Not to you."
"Ransom, don't piss me off. Just because I'm a cripple doesn't mean I can't empathize, okay? Understand this, no god put me in this chair. If something fucked up happens, like somebody overdosing on drugs, then it just happens. There's no reason or purpose to it. There is only the purpose we give it, after the fact."
"So you're saying that there is a purpose to what happened to you?"
"Before I was shot, my life was aimless. I was your classic slacker. I had to have my life practically destroyed to realize what was important. Sometimes I think that I didn't really start living until I almost died."
"Like a seed." he said. "Unless it falls to the ground and dies, it will never be anything more than a seed."
"Yeah... that's good. Where'd you read that, in a fortune cookie?"
"No, it's not important. I mean, it's kind of bullshit, isn't it? You could have done all these things without having to spend your life this way."
Jesse had to think for a second. "Possibly. I admit that my example is a little extreme.
"When I was in high school, I was relatively popular. I wasn't a, you know, nerd. Those kids who were fat, or short, or had bad acne. Or maybe fate had given them a weird brain structure that made them socially inept. It's the so-called nerds that are working to make the world a better place, and usually enriching themselves in the process."
"No. Stop. You are not socially inept." said Ransom. "And not everyone who is socially inept for one reason or another goes on to use their disadvantage for inspiration. I would guess that most of them don't. Shit happens. There is no meaning to it. There's no silver lining."
She let out an exasperated sigh. "Ransom, you're preaching to the choir. Just because there is a ubiquitous unfairness in life doesn't mean that there is no purpose in life. In my opinion, purpose is the only thing worth living for."
"Your philosophy doesn't leave much room for people with no purpose. What about the tard who sweeps the floor at the hardware store. I'm pretty sure that he's socially inept."
She sighed, longer and harder, "Oh, I don't know. I suppose maybe they could have adventures, like Forrest Gump."
Ransom leaned back onto his elbows and felt as comfortable with Jesse as he could ever remember being. "I once saw this movie, old old movie, about this guy who was a retard, and they performed an operation on him that made him super smart. But first they made this mouse really smart. You know what I'm talking about?"
"Charly."
"Yeah, Charly is cool. Wouldn't it be great if that were real?"
"Heh. It's funny that you mention that." she said. "That's my Prof's all time favorite movie. And that movie demonstrates why biology and biotechnology are going to be obsolete in the future."
"Wow. You really have it out for biology. Why are you such a hater?"
"I'm serious. If there existed a feasible way to improve on the human central nervous system, then nature would have found it through evolution. Either that, or if a way of making someone smarter does exist, it comes with a price so terrible that natural selection would kill off the mutant before it has a chance to reproduce. That's why the really smart mouse in that movie died. It's called Algernon's Law, which was the name of the mouse, incidentally."
"Oh. So it really is hopeless."
"Ransom, there is a purpose for the mentally deficient. Most of what we learn about the human brain is learned from studying those with brain damage and retardation. This leads to better understanding of our own brains."
"Yeah. Great for us. Sucks to be the tard, tho."
Jesse dropped her half eaten burrito into the box. "I'm not hungry anymore."
"I'm sorry, Jesse. The last thing I want is to infect someone else with my pessimism."
"Look," she said, "yes, some people suffer. There's no purpose, or greater cause afterward. But should that prevent other people from giving purpose to their suffering?"
"Of course not."
"A couple years after I was shot, I decided to dedicate my life to the evolution of Mankind into Superhumanity. Rather than let my suffering dictate my life, I determine a purpose for my suffering. And even if I die before the singularity comes and I have a chance to upload my mind into a more advanced substrate, I know that I'm serving something bigger than myself."
"So you believe in altruism? Fighting for a cause even though you may not gain anything in return?"
"Oh, but I will get something in return. It's just knowing that fills me with joy. If I work hard enough, and make a big enough contribution to the creation of Superhumanity, I'll be remembered for all time by the children of my mind. My progeny will live forever." She sat bolt upright and spread her arms out on either side. She gave Ransom a smile that her wished would last forever. She put her arms back down. "But of course, I would rather be there when it happens. But everybody wishes for something better for their children."
Ransom got up on his knees and looked her at eye level. "Jesse, the problem I see is that they won't remember you. Yes, the superhumans will know of you. But they won't know you. It's impossible."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Superhumanity will be immortal, untouchable. They will be literal gods. Jupiter Brains, or clouds of nanotech, or perhaps something altogether unimaginable. How can they possibly know what you did to bring them to life. How can they understand your hard work and sacrifice? Your dreams and frustrations? How can they know if they don't know what fear, or pain, or death is?"
"Because it's pain, and fear, and death that makes us human, right? I've heard this before."
"Oh. It's like we're back at the forum, retreading the old mind-body problem again. Sorry, Jesse."
"No, you have a point." she said. "There's a reason we keep coming back to that problem at the forum. Being able not to feel pain isn't a good thing. I can't feel any pain below my waist."
"And you can't feel any pleasure." he said without innuendo.
"Right. And I would gladly take back that potential for pain. I remember, for about two years after it happened, I refused to wear a seat belt whenever someone took me for a drive. I figured, I'm already paralyzed, what more could happen to me? Now, of course, I wear the seat belt, and take very good care of my body. I've come to realize that the body is a great thing, but not necessary. I am fully confident that the children of the mind can be realized. I just had to become something less than human to realize it."
Ransom was shocked into nervous laughter. "Less than human?"
"No legs, no genitals. I say I'm only, what, seventy, seventy-five percent?"
"Shut up, that's not even funny. You are one hundred percent."
"I can't even stand erect. Even australopithecines could do that."
"Jesse, you are one of the most human people I've ever met."
"Oh, come off it."
"It's true." With the last few comments, he had moved steadily closer to her. Now that he was close enough, he brushed his lips against her neck and the soft edge of her jaw line. She cocked her head to the side to give him better access. For a moment, Ransom wondered if she was only acquiescing to him. All doubts were dispelled when she turned and brought her lips full contact with his.
She pulled away. "Feeling better, are we?" She grinned ear to ear.
"Yeah, a little"
The smile left her face as quickly as it came. "Ransom, you're not just my friend out of pity, are you?"
"Jesus Christ Almighty, no! I love hanging out with you!"
"I like being with you too."
He couldn't help but notice how she used "like" instead of "love."
"Yeah, I know." he said.
"You know?"
"Yeah. I'm a big strong stud. You said so yourself."
"Um... yes, you are!" she was smiling again. Ransom leaned over and pecked her on the forehead. She asked, "How tall are you, six, six, six, seven?"
"Uh, six, six."
"Oh. My last boyfriend was six, seven."
"Whoop-dee-do."
"Hey, I like tall guys. I was five, eleven myself before I had to go take a seat for the rest of my life. It's a funny thing. I always wished I could grow one more inch, so I could be as tall as my older sister. Now I realize how stupid I was."
"Jesse, I can't imagine you being anything but painfully intelligent."
"Aw. Thank you. Hurm... I wonder if you're a big stud all over. You know, like, down there?"
"Oh jeez!" What's this? Was he actually blushing? "I haven't had any complaints."
"Really? Can I see?"
"Um, sure."
Ransom grabbed him by his belt buckle and pulled him close. He was surprised by her upper body strength. She undid his buckle.
"Whoa, are you serious?"
She looked up at him and gave him a playful shove on the pelvis. "Come here." she said and grabbed the collar of his shirt. She pulled him down to his knees so that they were at eye level. She put her athletic yet undeniably feminine arms over his shoulders. She ran the fingers of her right hand through his hair. They stayed like that for a long time.
Ransom broke the silence. "So...."
"Shut up and kiss me."
It was a long deep kiss. Ransom thought that Jesse was very good.
She broke away and stared into his eyes. "I get so, uh, horny sometimes."
"What a coincidence, me too." He leaned in and began to lightly explore her ear with his tongue. He brought his hand up to her breasts and used them in a way that he thought she would find pleasurable.
Apparently, she did. She cried out softly, "Oh yeah, babe. God, you know exactly what to do. I love you."
Ransom pulled back and looked at her. They were silent for a while.
She reached down her hand and undid his belt buckle again. "And this time, I'm serious."
A few hours later, Jesse awoke from sleep. They were on a makeshift bed made of the painters' drop cloths. Ransom was on his back. Jesse was on top, using his body as a body pillow. She asked him what time it was. He said it was three. She said that they would have to leave soon. He said, "I know." She fell back asleep.
Ransom had moved the telescreen from the wall to the ceiling and turned into an artificial moon roof. He commanded it to play the publicly available live video feed from the Hubble Network. The Hubbles watch the heavens face to face. They get a much better view than those on the other side of the atmosphere who watch the sky as through a glass, darkly.
He watched the stars and he listened to her breathing. He thought about Copernicus, who made the universe bigger, and said that man is not the center of it. He thought about how the Hubble's namesake showed that the universe wasn't just much bigger than we thought, it was getting bigger. And Man was getting smaller.
Ransom thought that in a place so big, there had to be everything he could ever want. There had to be the answer he was looking for.
He thought of all these things. But he paid little heed the small voice in the back of his head that warned of coming strife.
"Oh my god! What's that smell?" she asked.
He bent over and greeted her with a hug. "It's burning motor oil. It's not so bad compared to some cars."
"Where's your car?"
"I had, um, a little accident. It's in the shop now. this is my father's 2010 Honda Civic, one of the last mass produced gasoline models."
"So is the desire to own a piece of shit vehicle a genetic trait?"
"Well why don't you drive if you hate it so much?" asked Ransom.
"I told you already. The house server will wake up my father if I take my car out this late. My father would kill me if he caught me out here right now. No. actually, he would kill you."
"Jesse, how old are you, 24 or 16?"
"You know how overprotective my parents are. I can't say that I blame them, really. It's just easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission, if you know what I mean. Now let's go."
Ransom bent at the knees and back. He put his right arm in the crook of Jesse's knees and put his left arm underneath her shoulder. When he straightened up, he was struck by the sudden disparity of the situation. The intelligent, opinionated young moderator of the superhumanist forum was now a child in his arms. He felt a wave of affection that surprised and embarrassed him.
Jesse was just impatient. "Hello? You just gonna stand there?"
"Uh... sorry. I, uh..."
"What?"
"I... I think it's nice holding you like this."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
She sighed and then leaned in closer, touching her forehead against his shoulder. "Ransom, dear."
"Yes?"
"I know that you're a big strong stud. Now put me in the car before my father picks you off with his rifle."
"Heh." answered Ransom. "He can't do that while I'm holding you."
"Ah! You suck! Now put me in the car, and don't hit my head on the door."
"Ransom. You gonna tell me what's going on?"
"We're going to an all-night burrito stand, right?"
"You know what I mean. Why did you come here?"
"I went to see Ken last night."
"Jesus, what happened?"
"Nothing. Nothing happened. He's dead, gone. His body just doesn't know it yet."
"I'm sorry, Ransom. You prolly shouldn't have gone to see him. You should have just remembered him the way he was."
"Yeah. I don't know what I was thinking."
"So what was he like?" asked Jesse. "Before, I mean."
"Um... we knew each other all through grade school. We even went to the same church for a while. But we weren't really friends until I dated his sister. She dumped me, and I guess he felt sorry for me. After that, we did everything together.
"We were like partners in crime. We would sneak into football games, and sneak into Movie World without paying admission. That was before I started working there, of course. He was always the brave, reckless one. And I was always the cautious, conservative one. I did my best to discourage bad behavior, especially after we turned 18, and were punishable as adults.
"I don't think you would have liked him
"No, you would have liked him, if you got to know him. You just would have thought he was a loser. He was a thief. He could never keep a job longer than a month. He was addicted to drugs. And his room was always a mess.
"He was a great guy. He was so fucking clever.
"I mean, none of the teachers thought he was smart or motivated. But I knew otherwise judging from the enormous amount of swag he'd stolen over the years. I bet if he'd been born a hundred years ago, he could've been a professional thief and made millions. Now that security and loss prevention technology is so advanced, it's hard for anybody to steal anything. Ken used to steal bottles of liquor from this little shop on General Telepresence property. Now, I used to work for the loss prevention department at GT. Believe me. What he did takes brains and guts."
Jesse stopped him by squeezing his knee. "So I guess you had to keep an eye on him whenever he came over."
"No, Jesse. I gave him access codes to my house and my car. He never stole from friends or family. Only from corporations."
"Wow." said Jesse.
"I know it sounds like I'm making him out to be a total bum. But he wasn't like that. He had dreams. He wanted to make famous movies. Did I show you the movie we..."
"The Forrest Gump parody. Yeah, I watched it. It was funny."
"So how's your week going?" asked Ransom.
"Don't change the subject! If you want to talk about this, then talk. Talking will help you."
"I guess you figured out that I didn't come all this way to go get some mediocre burritos."
"Let's go someplace private and talk." she said.
"Like where, your room?"
"No no no. My house server recognizes you, but knows you're not allowed to call so late."
"You haven't figured out how to hack that yet?"
"Unlike your family, my parents know a lot about computers. they'll know if I tampered with the house server."
"Well where, then?"
"When I was in high school, my boyfriend and I went to the graveyard at night to get high."
"You may have been able to get away with that ten years ago." said Ransom. "But now that semi-intelligent security servers are ubiquitous, that would be impossible. You can't go anywhere without a robotic eye noticing you. I assure you that there are cameras or sensors embedded on every tree, mausoleum, and fifth headstone. We wouldn't be there ten minutes before a guard shows up to hassle us. Five minutes, if the memorial is run by Transadventists."
"So there's no place to go, really."
"I don't know." said Ransom.
"It's funny, we talked about this in my political science class. it's like a Disneyland version of Orwell. Big Brother is watching you. But as long as you behave, and keep you arms and legs inside the ride, no one is going to bother you."
"Well, I've never been to the Disneyland Historical Museum in SoCal, but I don't think it's as bad as Orwell envisioned things. There is no, Big Brother. Just a lot of privately run little brothers who keep an eye on their domain. Your house is your castle. However, ultra-sensitive detection devices are so powerful these days, even your bedroom might have an audience. Did you know that a positron emission scanner can look through your house like it's made of glass?"
"Ransom, have you been watching me shower?"
"I wish! My father used to work at this company that installed audio systems. They had these cool devices that would create a sonic barrier around your house. so no one could spy on you with an ultra-sensitive microphone."
"Obviously, everything can't be known, or else there would be no crime or terrorism."
"Good point. Wait a minute. I've been thinking, what would Ken do? I have an idea."
"What?"
"Driving along. I saw something." said Ransom.
Ransom walked through a doorway that did not yet have a door. That "new building scent" hung in the air. A mixture of dust, paint, and silicon adhesive that had not finished curing. Jesse was carrying a box of take-out Mexican. Ransom was carrying Jesse. He set her down on a chair and then ran back out to get her wheelchair.
"What do you think, Jesse, Not bad?"
"Much better than a graveyard. Kinda dark, tho."
"There's gotta be... here we go." He found a stack of cardboard tubes in the corner. Brand new telescreens. He pulled one out of it's tube, unrolled it, and flattened it against the wall. He addressed his wristserver, "Server, link to telescreen." The dark gray screen turned a soft glowing white. The word, "standby" appeared in black letters. "Mountain house window file." said Ransom. The screen turned into a picture of lush green mountaintops. The same that can be seen outside his mountain house in cyberspace.
"What is it with you and mountains?" she asked.
"I've lived in CenFlo all my life, which is flat as a pancake. I've only been to the mountains once in my life. They were so nice. I think that Heaven must have a lot of mountains. Hold on... Server, fireplace file." The mountains burst into flames. The artificial window was now an artificial fireplace."
"I like it!" said Jesse. "Very romantic. Now tell me why you chose this place."
As I was driving, I saw that this place was built by Wilbur Pagan Construction, a contractor that works almost exclusively for General Telepresence. I've worked for GT construction projects as a laborer, and a security officer. I know that when they build a building this size, they set up a temporary server on site to handle things like security, until they can install a permanent server when the building is finished."
"Did you do something to the temporary server?" she asked.
"The server will wait three minutes before it sends a signal that it has detected a trespasser. So that gives me three minutes to find the server and disrupt its power source. After that, I had twenty seconds while the server reboots to disconnect the input cables and turn on the trouble alarm. Now the server doesn't know we're here."
"Oh my God, you're a stud!"
"Thank you, thank you." He said.
"So are you sure we won't get caught?"
"I'm about eighty percent sure. The security people prolly get trouble alarms going off every night. So often so that they prolly wouldn't bother checking on them. Hopefully, the security people in charge here aren't that much more vigilant than I am. But if a patrol car pulls into the lot, I'll just make a quick getaway and leave you here."
"Gee, thanks." Jesse broke into the box of burritos which had begun to leak grease onto the newly tiled floor.
"Jesse, that burrito stand wasn't run by Transadventists, was it?"
"Don't worry, Ransom. This is real live dead flesh we're eating." She reached into the box and tossed him one of burritos.
"Thanks." Ransom bowed his head and closed his eyes.
"Uh, Ransom. What are you doing?"
He opened his eyes wide, as if awaking from a bad dream. "Holy shit. I was praying, wasn't I?"
"That's what it looked like to me."
"It was pure habit. I didn't even realize I was doing it."
"That's understandable, Ransom."
He was silent. And every second he spent silent, the lower his mood became. For the past six months, sadness had been his constant companion. It came and went as it pleased. Triggered by a word or thought, it was never far away. "I feel like two friends have died. Ken is dead, and God is dead."
"I can't say that I can relate to the death of God. I suppose that it would be painful if you've believed in him all your life. But I think that you're getting better. I think that some people need God, that they use it as a crutch. But you're learning that you don't need God. You're walking on your own without help from an invisible friend."
"Maybe you're right." Said Ransom. "But the thing is, I didn't choose this. If I had my choice, I'd still be a blissfully happy born-again Christian. But with all the terrible things that have happened, it's like God is sending me a message. And that message is, I don't exist."
She tapped her lip. "That's quite a paradox."
"Jesse, we don't have to talk about this."
"I know."
"None of these terrible things happened to me personally. I don't have the right to complain. Not to you."
"Ransom, don't piss me off. Just because I'm a cripple doesn't mean I can't empathize, okay? Understand this, no god put me in this chair. If something fucked up happens, like somebody overdosing on drugs, then it just happens. There's no reason or purpose to it. There is only the purpose we give it, after the fact."
"So you're saying that there is a purpose to what happened to you?"
"Before I was shot, my life was aimless. I was your classic slacker. I had to have my life practically destroyed to realize what was important. Sometimes I think that I didn't really start living until I almost died."
"Like a seed." he said. "Unless it falls to the ground and dies, it will never be anything more than a seed."
"Yeah... that's good. Where'd you read that, in a fortune cookie?"
"No, it's not important. I mean, it's kind of bullshit, isn't it? You could have done all these things without having to spend your life this way."
Jesse had to think for a second. "Possibly. I admit that my example is a little extreme.
"When I was in high school, I was relatively popular. I wasn't a, you know, nerd. Those kids who were fat, or short, or had bad acne. Or maybe fate had given them a weird brain structure that made them socially inept. It's the so-called nerds that are working to make the world a better place, and usually enriching themselves in the process."
"No. Stop. You are not socially inept." said Ransom. "And not everyone who is socially inept for one reason or another goes on to use their disadvantage for inspiration. I would guess that most of them don't. Shit happens. There is no meaning to it. There's no silver lining."
She let out an exasperated sigh. "Ransom, you're preaching to the choir. Just because there is a ubiquitous unfairness in life doesn't mean that there is no purpose in life. In my opinion, purpose is the only thing worth living for."
"Your philosophy doesn't leave much room for people with no purpose. What about the tard who sweeps the floor at the hardware store. I'm pretty sure that he's socially inept."
She sighed, longer and harder, "Oh, I don't know. I suppose maybe they could have adventures, like Forrest Gump."
Ransom leaned back onto his elbows and felt as comfortable with Jesse as he could ever remember being. "I once saw this movie, old old movie, about this guy who was a retard, and they performed an operation on him that made him super smart. But first they made this mouse really smart. You know what I'm talking about?"
"Charly."
"Yeah, Charly is cool. Wouldn't it be great if that were real?"
"Heh. It's funny that you mention that." she said. "That's my Prof's all time favorite movie. And that movie demonstrates why biology and biotechnology are going to be obsolete in the future."
"Wow. You really have it out for biology. Why are you such a hater?"
"I'm serious. If there existed a feasible way to improve on the human central nervous system, then nature would have found it through evolution. Either that, or if a way of making someone smarter does exist, it comes with a price so terrible that natural selection would kill off the mutant before it has a chance to reproduce. That's why the really smart mouse in that movie died. It's called Algernon's Law, which was the name of the mouse, incidentally."
"Oh. So it really is hopeless."
"Ransom, there is a purpose for the mentally deficient. Most of what we learn about the human brain is learned from studying those with brain damage and retardation. This leads to better understanding of our own brains."
"Yeah. Great for us. Sucks to be the tard, tho."
Jesse dropped her half eaten burrito into the box. "I'm not hungry anymore."
"I'm sorry, Jesse. The last thing I want is to infect someone else with my pessimism."
"Look," she said, "yes, some people suffer. There's no purpose, or greater cause afterward. But should that prevent other people from giving purpose to their suffering?"
"Of course not."
"A couple years after I was shot, I decided to dedicate my life to the evolution of Mankind into Superhumanity. Rather than let my suffering dictate my life, I determine a purpose for my suffering. And even if I die before the singularity comes and I have a chance to upload my mind into a more advanced substrate, I know that I'm serving something bigger than myself."
"So you believe in altruism? Fighting for a cause even though you may not gain anything in return?"
"Oh, but I will get something in return. It's just knowing that fills me with joy. If I work hard enough, and make a big enough contribution to the creation of Superhumanity, I'll be remembered for all time by the children of my mind. My progeny will live forever." She sat bolt upright and spread her arms out on either side. She gave Ransom a smile that her wished would last forever. She put her arms back down. "But of course, I would rather be there when it happens. But everybody wishes for something better for their children."
Ransom got up on his knees and looked her at eye level. "Jesse, the problem I see is that they won't remember you. Yes, the superhumans will know of you. But they won't know you. It's impossible."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Superhumanity will be immortal, untouchable. They will be literal gods. Jupiter Brains, or clouds of nanotech, or perhaps something altogether unimaginable. How can they possibly know what you did to bring them to life. How can they understand your hard work and sacrifice? Your dreams and frustrations? How can they know if they don't know what fear, or pain, or death is?"
"Because it's pain, and fear, and death that makes us human, right? I've heard this before."
"Oh. It's like we're back at the forum, retreading the old mind-body problem again. Sorry, Jesse."
"No, you have a point." she said. "There's a reason we keep coming back to that problem at the forum. Being able not to feel pain isn't a good thing. I can't feel any pain below my waist."
"And you can't feel any pleasure." he said without innuendo.
"Right. And I would gladly take back that potential for pain. I remember, for about two years after it happened, I refused to wear a seat belt whenever someone took me for a drive. I figured, I'm already paralyzed, what more could happen to me? Now, of course, I wear the seat belt, and take very good care of my body. I've come to realize that the body is a great thing, but not necessary. I am fully confident that the children of the mind can be realized. I just had to become something less than human to realize it."
Ransom was shocked into nervous laughter. "Less than human?"
"No legs, no genitals. I say I'm only, what, seventy, seventy-five percent?"
"Shut up, that's not even funny. You are one hundred percent."
"I can't even stand erect. Even australopithecines could do that."
"Jesse, you are one of the most human people I've ever met."
"Oh, come off it."
"It's true." With the last few comments, he had moved steadily closer to her. Now that he was close enough, he brushed his lips against her neck and the soft edge of her jaw line. She cocked her head to the side to give him better access. For a moment, Ransom wondered if she was only acquiescing to him. All doubts were dispelled when she turned and brought her lips full contact with his.
She pulled away. "Feeling better, are we?" She grinned ear to ear.
"Yeah, a little"
The smile left her face as quickly as it came. "Ransom, you're not just my friend out of pity, are you?"
"Jesus Christ Almighty, no! I love hanging out with you!"
"I like being with you too."
He couldn't help but notice how she used "like" instead of "love."
"Yeah, I know." he said.
"You know?"
"Yeah. I'm a big strong stud. You said so yourself."
"Um... yes, you are!" she was smiling again. Ransom leaned over and pecked her on the forehead. She asked, "How tall are you, six, six, six, seven?"
"Uh, six, six."
"Oh. My last boyfriend was six, seven."
"Whoop-dee-do."
"Hey, I like tall guys. I was five, eleven myself before I had to go take a seat for the rest of my life. It's a funny thing. I always wished I could grow one more inch, so I could be as tall as my older sister. Now I realize how stupid I was."
"Jesse, I can't imagine you being anything but painfully intelligent."
"Aw. Thank you. Hurm... I wonder if you're a big stud all over. You know, like, down there?"
"Oh jeez!" What's this? Was he actually blushing? "I haven't had any complaints."
"Really? Can I see?"
"Um, sure."
Ransom grabbed him by his belt buckle and pulled him close. He was surprised by her upper body strength. She undid his buckle.
"Whoa, are you serious?"
She looked up at him and gave him a playful shove on the pelvis. "Come here." she said and grabbed the collar of his shirt. She pulled him down to his knees so that they were at eye level. She put her athletic yet undeniably feminine arms over his shoulders. She ran the fingers of her right hand through his hair. They stayed like that for a long time.
Ransom broke the silence. "So...."
"Shut up and kiss me."
It was a long deep kiss. Ransom thought that Jesse was very good.
She broke away and stared into his eyes. "I get so, uh, horny sometimes."
"What a coincidence, me too." He leaned in and began to lightly explore her ear with his tongue. He brought his hand up to her breasts and used them in a way that he thought she would find pleasurable.
Apparently, she did. She cried out softly, "Oh yeah, babe. God, you know exactly what to do. I love you."
Ransom pulled back and looked at her. They were silent for a while.
She reached down her hand and undid his belt buckle again. "And this time, I'm serious."
A few hours later, Jesse awoke from sleep. They were on a makeshift bed made of the painters' drop cloths. Ransom was on his back. Jesse was on top, using his body as a body pillow. She asked him what time it was. He said it was three. She said that they would have to leave soon. He said, "I know." She fell back asleep.
Ransom had moved the telescreen from the wall to the ceiling and turned into an artificial moon roof. He commanded it to play the publicly available live video feed from the Hubble Network. The Hubbles watch the heavens face to face. They get a much better view than those on the other side of the atmosphere who watch the sky as through a glass, darkly.
He watched the stars and he listened to her breathing. He thought about Copernicus, who made the universe bigger, and said that man is not the center of it. He thought about how the Hubble's namesake showed that the universe wasn't just much bigger than we thought, it was getting bigger. And Man was getting smaller.
Ransom thought that in a place so big, there had to be everything he could ever want. There had to be the answer he was looking for.
He thought of all these things. But he paid little heed the small voice in the back of his head that warned of coming strife.
posted by Graham at 4:53 AM
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